When presented with an opportunity to change, there is often a dilemma. To change, is to adapt, is to harmonize, is to fit into the box. But the change might be irreversible. Humans are sometimes afraid of changes – when they don’t know themselves well enough, introducing a change might make them not know themselves more – and that is what scares them.

A change is sometimes a gamble, you are able to benefit fully from the change, but at the same time you might risk turning into someone you don’t know. To some people, changing themselves is no big deal, as long as the change improves their image in front of other people; for others, they want to keep their values, their principles, their pride intact no matter what, aka “the stubborn people”.

When presented with an opportunity to change, there are 3 choices:

1. To embrace the change fully. You accept the change and completely overwrite your beliefs, values, principles. You benefit from the change. Like water that happily fits into the container, happily dissolves sugar. And they lived happy and ever after.
2. To reject the change at all costs. Like a piece of rock, you insist on keeping your shape. You missed the benefits of changing. If the outside world wants to change you, they’ll have to do it by force.
3. The sly way that might raise contradiction – you embrace the change, but keeping your values and principles you think is right. You benefit from the change, while still keeping your integrity. Like a piece of elastic gel, you fit into any container – but do not change your shape exactly according to the container if your chemical composition does not allow it, and do not blend your chemical composition easily. But you gain a wider perspective on everything you see. And they lived happily ever after.

To embrace or to accept or even to “accept” a change. It’s your choice.

Humans need a reason to justify each of their actions. When there is no reason at all, or the reason contradicts with their own values, they will either conciously or subconciously make up their own reasons – which are what known to be excuses. With a faux reason in place, humans can perform all actions with confidence, though deep down they are unsure. Yet, humans hold on to their reasons tightly, they don’t want to let it go, they’re unable to let it go, as if their existence depends on it.

When there’s a slight chance he doubt his own reasons, he will make up more reasons to reassure himself. If a third party tries to challenge the validity of the reason, it most often leads to a bloody war between the two parties.

Part true is more dangerous than whole lies. Humans tend to believe in something fully when part of it reflects the actual facts – the rest of it can be lies. This is a psychological phenomena where humans will remain skeptical and conduct reasoning process, until a set level of tolerance whereby the information complies with the reasoning – then they will stop reasoning and believe everything else after that.

xxxxxxxx provides human reasons for all their actions. It only takes a human to realize and break out of the loop, then exploit the power of xxxxxxxx as a way to control the minds of a large number of people – because humans believe everything the xxxxxxxx states.

Give a man in darkness light, and he will follow the light blindly.

When you’re busy chasing after something in life, nothing else comes into mind, you isolate yourself from the the society, your time seems frozen. Unknowingly, the time space outside your domain gushes away, days are like hours, hours are like minutes and minutes are like seconds.

When you finally take a break and slow down. Everything seems different now, yet, you’re still isolated. You lose your direction. What was I doing all along? What am I doing now? What am I going to do? You can’t reach your feelings.

Everybody else moved on, you’re being left behind, you’re still on the same spot. Except, like everyone else, you have now aged. Time has slipped away.

This is a dream. I’ll go to sleep. When I wake up the next day, everything will be fine.

Up until now, textbooks, storybooks and fairytales have shown us a flawless world, an ideal world – a fake world. A world where evil is absolute evil, a world where good is absolute good, and nothing lies in between them. In the real world, things are not as simple as it seems: each individual is an entity to a synergistic group of entities – a community. Each entity is a duplicate of us, with a bit of variation in moral values, mindset, point of view, beliefs, and physical attributes.

For an entity to stay with the community, it must harmonize with other entities – a mutual agreement, whether or not the mutual agreement is passive or active. An example from nature: a bee and a flower – bee takes nectar from flower with pure intention of ‘obtaining nectar’, but at the same time, it unknowingly carries the pollen to other flowers, fulfilling the flower’s intentions, without much effort – this is an example of perfect harmony, intentions are hidden from the bee, but it gets the job done. Another example takes place between 2 monkeys, Monkey A scratches Monkey B’s back, and Monkey B scratches Monkey A’s back – both parties form a mutual agreement with both parties acknowledging the intentions.

An example of one-sided benefit (parasitic) ending up in disaster would be the case of mosquitoes – mosquitoes consume blood from host, host obtains nothing in return. In the end, host attempts to destroy mosquito, mosquito dies. Host: 0, Mosquito: 0. However, there might be pitfalls on what situations might appear to be mutual at first. Example: A venus flytrap presents what appears to be nectar to the fly, but once the fly goes in, it shuts up the trap and consumes the fly – Venus Trap: 1, Fly: 0.

A lost lamb is seen, stuck in the ‘perfect world’, rejecting the reality, wondering why is the reality so different than what it seems to be. Efforts of guiding a lost lamb from the ‘perfect world’, ended up in failure. Showing a potential case of Monkeys, the lost lamb emotionally disintegrates, rejecting the guide, and the theory as a whole, mission failed. Maybe the guiding process should be done slowly and less transparent. *sigh*

Humans are complicated, hard to understand, yet very interesting creatures. Humans are unable to survive alone, and thus live in groups, just as wolves live in packs – surviving by mutual reliance.

Because of long term living in communities, socially, humans tend to detest people who stand out too much, and in return do not want to stand out, to avoid being rejected by the society and thus, losing his or her own identity. They become followers, following the social trends: if one of them could not keep up, he/she is labeled as outdated.

Recently the society has developed into a more self-centric one, with each individual exploiting each other to achieve his/her own private goals. Or maybe, it is like this all along. It is not easy to identify whether any of the actions taken by an individual is considered as pure hearted, based on free will or with separate intentions.

Though I don’t believe humans conduct actions entirely motiveless – there must be some sort of motive, some sort of intention. It’s just the level of intentions are different. For instance, an individual might assist on another individual to develop trust, or to develop a friendly relationship, or to expect a similar treatment in return, or to avoid being labeled as cold hearted, or to blend into the community etc. Even a reason such as “wanting to see him/her smile” is an intention itself.

Helping a person when the person request for help and helping a person without the person asking are different. If the person asks for help and you aid him/her, it’s considered as “doing a favor”. But when helping a person when the person do not ask for help, there might be a few possibilities happening: the person do not wished to be helped, or the person do not expect help.

Since there are people who exploits human emotions by offering what appeared to be unconditional help but actually bearing ill intentions, it is normal for people who are receiving “unconditional” help to be extra cautious, bearing doubts on the true intentions of the helper. In turn, people who gives help based on pure intentions think twice before assisting to avoid misunderstanding.

On the other hand, there are also exploits which involve requesting help with ill intentions which again, in turn develops cautiousness in free-will helpers and further reduces the number of them.

With all these factors reaching an equilibrium, the society has become cold – filled with paranoia. Helping a person, when being requested or not, is not a social norm, and people avoid taking actions simply because other people are not.

In rare cases, individuals who are sick of the society, isolates himself, because he no longer understands himself. Is he no different from the society – elegant on the outside, rotten on the inside? He wished to know, yet is afraid to know. He doesn’t want people to think who he is not, yet doing things that is not him, yet wanting to know what exactly is himself.

He is confused.

If you’re reading this, I believe you’re confused too.

DD, MM & S:

Sometimes the only way to communicate and understand each other is to shut up and listen, and remain shut up. Then analyze holistically for a day with a cool-headed mind, come up with a resolution and rephrase it to a way that is least offensive as possible to show your opinion. Sometimes you make conclusions based on listening only half of the story, influenced by your current emotions and false assumptions.

In a debate, raising your voice and losing your cool is a sign of defeat, your emotions are compromised and your decisions are influenced. As the party that just lost your cool, it’s time to shut up and cool down. As the party whose opponent is someone that just lost his/her cool, shut up, listen and try to understand.

If someone’s opinions differ from yours, just express your own opinion and be done with it. His/her acceptance of your opinion is entirely up to his/her freedom. What you do is show some respect in his/her opinion and try not to force your thoughts into someone else.

The key to mutual understanding is by putting yourself is someone else’s shoes. Think how they think, feel how they feel, see how they see, listen how they listen – then only you’re at least a bit capable of making assumptions.

There is a reason behind all actions, if you don’t understand the real reason behind it, you’re not worthy of commenting on it. It takes communication to understand the reason, not assumptions.

Stubbornness is caused by inferiority complex or getting one’s pride challenged. It takes two hands to clap – clashing only occurs when both sides are equally stubborn.

Sometimes the things that is expected to exist, when placed in front of your eyes, seems almost non-existent and insignificant; while the things you don’t expect to exist, when placed in front of your eyes, seems significant. Until the time the “insignificant” cease to exist – you will notice how significant it once were.

Happiness is a choice, not a coincidence. The way to end all suffering is to learn how to let go. There are some things that cannot be changed no matter how hard to try, there are people who do not wished to be helped no matter how hard to try – let them go, grant them freedom, and your pain will go along with it. If you insist on getting worked up over trivial matters, you’re only finding misfortune to yourself, and you deserve the suffering you brought upon yourself.

Treasure your family – they are the only ones willing to ruin themselves for your sake, and the people you hurt the most throughout the course of your life, as well as the only ones that will be by your side no matter how hard you push them away – until the end of their time.

A girl, out of the blue, asks you: “Do you have a girlfriend?”

What is the best answer? “Yes.”, even though you’re not having one and never had one? “I had one”, even though you never had one?

Or do you want to be honest, “No” – and get slapped with either “Why?” or “Are you gay?”. The primer is the hard part as “because I’m shy” is too embarrassing, “because I’m passive” is too arrogant, “because of face problem” is low self-esteem, so you’re left speechless. The latter can be easily replied with a negative answer like “No”, but the people around you would still make jokes out of it.

This happened a few times. What I usually do is immediately divert the attention and change the topic.

Anybody has better ideas? Comments please.

(“No, do you want to be my first one?” is crazy – this won’t work.)

INIT:KRCRYPT_OSIEXFZRULMQUVTINDHUKARJBAPOGYCUW

Jbeh cuxinamj eh norfac oh drekoja omc xom umpy za oxxahhezpa zy oijburegac emcekecioph – raohum eh jbeh duhj newbj za nehjofampy ecamjeqeac oh lrejjam zy o hjopfar. Eq yui xom raoc jbeh nahhowa, ej naomh yui ora aejbar hunauma E boka darhumoppy jrihjac oppulac ju keal jbeh duhj, ur hunauma hnorj amuiwb ju caxedbar ny amxucemw – lbexb yuir jrudby luipc za jba xumjamjh uq jbeh duhj.

Ny raohum uq tuememw oh o Hidar WJ xuurcemojur eh ipjenojapy ju udam ny ayah omc puuf oj jba uijheca lurpc omc fmul nura daudpa, emhjaoc uq hjoyemw emheca jba ‘xumjruppac’ zuv E’n kary ihac ju. Jba daudpa E fmul, ny xpohhnojah, ny xerxpa uq qreamch, ora lboj E bydujbajexoppy zapeakac ju zapumw ju jba ‘xumjruppac’ amkerumnamj E’n pekemw em – a.w. jbay cum’j hlaor nixb, jbay cum’j cremf nixb, jbay cum’j hnufa nixb omc jbay cum’j boka mewbj pekah.

Uq xuirha, ju za qromf, naajemw werph eh ophu uma uq jba raohumh, ju xuimjar-zopomxa jba aqqaxj uq wajjemw hjixf em o xpohh lejb 100% wiyh qur 2 lbupa yaorh.

O hewmeqexomj xumjrezijemw qoxjur luipc za jba qoxj ny hehjar eh jba XAU uq T-Pemf Nomowanamj, omc hba loh jba uma lbu emjrucixac jba tuz ju na em jba qerhj dpoxa. Ny ecamjejy eh caxecac ju za fadj haxraj qrun opp jba xuurcemojurh, drunujarh omc xpeamjh, ju okuec xundpexojemw nojjarh. Jbuiwb huna uq jba daudpa cec hihdaxj ny rapojeumhbed lejb ny hehjar, lbexb E xpinhepy cameac jba xpoenh.

Ny rahdumhezepejy oh o nanzar uq jba Hidar WJ xuurcemojur jaon luipc hendpy za quppulemw urcarh. Ny rahdumhezepejeah oh o nanzar uq T-Pemf luipc za numejuremw omc kareqyemw jba darqurnomxa uq T-Pemf hiddpeac binom rahuirxa, omc ju drakamj omy duhhezpa nehbodh qrun boddamemw ju jba WJ drunujarh.

Cia ju bokemw o druzpan lejb hapq-xumqecamxa – E boka doromueo uq bul ujbarh jbemf uq na omc ny oxjeumh, ny darhumopejy eh hbulm ju za xupc omc sieaj. Om avxiha E woka nyhapq qur faademw cehjomxa qrun ujbarh eh ju okuec nyhapq qrun anujeumoppy xundrunehac jboj lepp oqqaxj ny caxeheum nofemw ozepejeah – lbexb loh dorjpy o pea. Jbeh boh om occac cehockomjowa – zaemw o jujop zpoxf hbaad em jba doxf E’n em, lbexb eh o zoxfqera uq ny ojjandj ju zpamc em hepamjpy.

Urewemoppy E’ka emjamcac ju weka ny xumjoxj cajoeph ju akaryuma zaqura jba tuz amch, jbeh dpom qoepac dranojirapy oh jba WJ drunujarh lara zaemw avxihac uq jbaer lurf aorpear jbom avdaxjac. Bulakar, cia ju om oxxecamj, uma uq jba WJ drunujarh wuj ny nuzepa minzar – lbexb rahipjac ny dpom muj o xundpaja qoepira.

Jba rahipj uq ny uzharkojeumh jbruiwbuij jba xuirha uq jba tuz ora oh quppulh. Dorj uq jbaha ora ny ohhindjeumh lbexb noy ur noy muj raqpaxj jba oxjiop xoha.

Oppom – Bewb xumqecamxa. Ba cec o rapojekapy wuuc tuz uq paocemw beh jaon. Wuuc oj xumkemxemw daudpa ju cu jba cerjy tuz qur ben. Boc o lepc *xuiwb* peqa (ba namjeumac ej o qal jenah em jba xor zaqura). Hunalboj poxfh rahdaxj qur lunam.

Wirnej – Zoc jandar, ujbarleha o wraoj rewbj-bomc-nom uq Oppom.

Com – Ozpa ju cu omyjbemw yui jbrul oj ben. Jba jbraa uq jban – Oppom, Wirnej, Com qurnh o wraoj ocnemehjrojeka, hjrojawehj, avaxijeka jaon.

Warry – O nom em beh qurjeah zabokemw oh eq ba’h bopq beh owa. Jba druzpan eh beh jandar omc oziha uq beh owa (yui xom’j yapp oj daudpa pefa om ocipj lbepa zabokemw pefa om ocupahxamj cica). Beh hmuremw eh KARY puic. Dijjemw jban oheca, ba’h o wraoj cica.

Pomchpyca – Cremfh mujbemw zij zaar. Beh xbuexa uq jorwajh amhirac jba hixxahh uq beh *xuiwb* peqa.

Puxu – Boh o zej uq emqareurejy xundpav lejb beh zrujbar. Faadh ju beh ulm nepcar mojira omc dremxedpah.

Xrolqurc – Ba namjeumac beh coc’h caojb xbomwac beh keal um peqa – lbexb noca ben dij amtuynamj uq peqa ju jba jud dreurejy jbom omyjbemw apha. Zohac um beh oxjeumh, jbara’h o bemj uq ben ahxodemw jba qaor uq caojb ejhapq zy emcipwemw em nipjedpa qurnh uq hjenipe. Beh emjamjeumh ora rojbar dracexjozpa cia ju jba qurlorc mojira. Jba mujbemw-ju-puha ojjejica boh om uzkeuih ockomjowa um beh huxeop majlurfemw ozepejy, oj paohj qrun jba uijheca, yaj oj jba hona jena newbj za jba umpy uzhjoxpa ba nihj akamjioppy ukarxuna. Jbara ora ophu bemjh uq beh emjarahj julorch Xemcy.

Tumojbom – O xpohhex hjrojawehj. Ohharjh beh dremxedpah julorch ujbarh. Ihah horxohn omc karzop ojjoxfh qpiamjpy. Jbuiwb beh emjamjeumh ora xpaorpy hbulm, ba’h o darhum muj ju xorapahhpy nahhac lejb.

Coky – Cahdeja nipjedpa uxxoheumh uq daudpa imcarahjenojemw ben, ba hbulh mu hewmh uq pul hapq-ahjaan. Ba eh o darhum lbu boh qor hewbj, amozpemw ben ju nofa maor darqaxj caxeheumh zohac um ceqqaramj hxamoreuh. Cia ju jbeh mojira, beh emjamjeumh ora muj aohepy dracexjozpa.

Hbakumma – Hba noy oddaor femfy um jba uijheca, zij E owraa lejb Hpyca’h duemj uq keal – caad culm emheca, hba eh o murnop werp. Hba eh nuhj pefapy nohfemw barhapq, ojjandjemw ju hirkeka em jba borhb lurpc, hu hba fmulh jba loyh oruimc jbemwh ujbar daudpa cum’j. Eq zruiwbj id em o ceqqaramj amkerumnamj, hba xom za o ceqqaramj darhum.

Xemcy – Ju za ozpa ju oddaor imuqqamcac zy borhb jaohemwh, hba eh hjrumw. Jbuiwb E cum’j jbemf jba lurch cec mu born, ju za ozpa ju lejbhjomc jban eh muj aohy – akam jbuiwb jbay newbj oddaor ju za tufah um jba uijheca. Lbam ej xunah ju hjrefemw bar laof-hduj, hba xom za anujeumop. Hba eh o qurlorc-darhum omc hdaofh bar nemc aohepy, lbexb nofah bar aohy ju waj opumw lejb, zij oj jba hona jena newbj xoiha bar ju nofa xpinhy caxeheumh.

Foram – Hba boh pular hapq-ahjaan omc rojbar dira mojira – lbexb hba xom za aohepy caxaekac. Jbeh newbj xoiha bar ju jry ju wu lejb jba qpul, lbexb hunajenah newbj xoiha bar ju paoka bar xunqurj guma.

Ako – Hba eh o xumqecamj emjarahjemw darhum jboj boh jaxbmesiah ju iha ujbar daudpa ju bar ockomjowa, lbexb eh bewbpy henepor ju ny hehjar. Bar hnopp oxjeumh ora ojjroxjekapy-aqqaxjeka ju imfmulemw jorwajh, lbexb lepp nofa bar jorwaj boddepy cu lbojakar hba lomjh. Coky, E’n oqroec ej eh opnuhj enduhhezpa ju ahxoda qrun bar.

-- Pomxa (22/06/2009 12:09 AM)

Xom’j zapeaka ba lruja jbeh, rojbar rapixjomj ju duhj jbeh id. Ub lapp, oj paohj ej’h xedbarac. La zujb owraac jba pohj 2 coyh lara raoppy zuremw.

-- Fomryui (22/06/2009 2:33 PM)

I see kids rushing to become adults. Doing what adults do, behaving like how adults behave. Blindly following, unknowing of the reasons behind all actions, unknowing of the consequences of all actions. Yet, they’re proud of it, because everybody does the same, even though deep down below, they are unsure, knowing they might be wrong. When “everybody” is just the very same people who have made the same mistake - A stand alone complex, followers without leaders, copycats without originators.

Yet I see adults behaving like kids. Those who yearn for their lost time. Those who matured without going through the process of maturing. Those who stand on a plank between adolescent and adulthood.

Open your eyes. Open your heart. Listen to yourself. Is this really what you wished for?

Adults, who are always thought to be mature and wise are not as it seems after all. Though with more experience in life, they frequently make the same mistakes as we – the youngsters make.

They discriminate people who are different from them. They force their thoughts to people. They push their words into people’s mouth. They actually like to create conflicts. They make a fuss over small matters. They push away responsibilities. They talk like some diligent you met during high school. They don’t have ‘mutual respect’ in their vocabulary. They shout like animals. They tend to run away from problems rather than solve them. They’re plain arrogant and full of themselves. They don’t admit their mistakes and expect you to admit your own mistakes. They’re darn stubborn and complains you’re stubborn instead.

Things get worse when you are expected to obey their orders just because they are older than you. Stuck in between the shit war they start in their family. Get flamed from doing something stupid. Get flamed just because they did something stupid and you didn’t prevent them from doing so. Get flamed because you prevented them from doing something stupid, but in an inappropriate tone. Put up a mask when confronted with them even though you should have really, really point out their errors.

The worst thing is: they are your (our) role models – you (we) have to treat them with highest respect.

Well, I hope I don’t grow up to be like them, seriously.

Let's face it, college life is not as fun as high school life. This is my attempt to gather people together to work as a whole - to improve each other, to improve the course, and to improve college life. Radiant Garden is meant for everyone to share new things and knowledge, as well as a place to learn and gain. Membership is not only open to BENGEEE-SHU-1C, but I hope I can start off from as little as this to something bigger.

Radiant Garden - Community of knowledge seekers @ www.radiant-garden.co.nr (Named after Kingdom Hearts 2's revived city of Hollow Bastion.)